I love fly fishing. I also love my kids. But how can I hope to spend any time on the water if I devote as much time to my kids as they deserve? I think that I may have naively stumbled onto the obvious solution. I have spent time with my son fishing! It can be a long haul. It doesn’t happen overnight and matching the hatch may not be the focus for a long time. But, I couldn’t afford to wait until my kids were old enough to buy that high tech-high modulus rod and an investment-grade reel before we started. My daughter is 16 and has no interest in fly fishing. Although she is wonderful in many other ways, I failed miserably with her. Don’t believe for a moment, that I didn’t try. She’s even uncomfortable swimming in water that might have a fish in it. But, my son is 13 years old, and I think that he is really beginning to like fly fishing, or else he’s been fooled into thinking that it’s cool to spend time with his old man. Naah, that couldn’t be.How did it happen that he is willing to go fly fishing with me? I’m not entirely certain. He started fishing pretty young. He was three or four years old. And yes, he started with a sure thing: on a dock in Maine where hungry bluegills just love any form of handout, even worms suspended from large red and white strike indicators (bobbers). He enjoyed catching fish. That was pretty much of a no-brainer. I firmly believe that this is crucial. The seed of a fly fisherman is planted by fostering his interest in catching fish, any kind of fish! Preferably lots of fish! This may require some sacrifices (use of live bait, shorter rods, and more forgiving reels) to assure that he catches lots of fish. One caveat: When your 4-5 year-old is casting with sharp hooks? Well, that can be a religious experience. Although we luckily avoided physical injuries, I gained a few more grey hairs. We lost our share of worms and bobbers to some amazingly high limbs in nearby trees when his exuberance overwhelmed his finesse. You may still find these bi-colored spheres and coated hooks in birches and firs throughout Jeremy’s home state! Two or three years ago, I was encouraged to take my son along to some fly fishing only waters nearer to home (or else my wife wouldn’t let me go). That’s when he started with the fly rod. I guess that he decided it was more fun to swing a rod around between the trees than to watch me snag them (the trees). At first he was a little frustrated. Even now, he isn’t patient enough on his back-casts. However, he has progressed to the point where he can cast and hook more fish (than trees) with a nymph. Equally important is that he isn’t impeding my fishing too much. Last fall, he took the initiative of tying on an elk hair caddis (when I was going down deep with a bead-head brassie). The order of the universe was shifted forever when he set the hook in the jaw of an angry Brook Trout that slammed his floating deceit on the 3rd cast. Thirteen years is a long time to wait for a payoff. I can’t say that I relished all those dangerous, early wormin’ years; but, I think that I am beginning to reap return on the investment. He seems to want to go with me and do some of that fly fishing stuff. Now with CPR, I find myself spending less time fishing because I spend so much time running over to take pictures of all the fish he is catching. We have come full circle. I’m learning from him. It’s really starting to get interesting now! So what is it about fly fishing that caught my son’s interest? I don’t really know. Was it the anticipation? The thrill of the strike? The frantic pulsing fish on the line? The feeling of intelligence superior to a fish’s’ (my own personal favorite, although seldom realized!). Or was it just avoiding the trees? I really don’t know. Maybe my enthusiasm was contagious. Maybe it was just dumb luck. I wish I could know what turned him on. What I do know is this. I’m really lucky to have a budding fly fisherman for a son! Some day, when I have lots of time to fish and he has a family, maybe he will take me along to the good spots, even if it’s only to take pictures. Come to think of it, this spring, maybe I should take my Dad to some of my favorite spots.
aviddavid,
that is all great advice and i will heade all of it… especially the catching fish and lots of fish early… that is the “hook” that seems to get them interested early… it has to be simple… and pumpking seeds are the perfect target… throw out the bober with a worm and everything after that is very visual and very easy for a 2 or 3 year old to understand… i think it will be obvious if he likes it early on… will he stare at that bobber waiting for something to happen… will he wake up early to cast that bobber on his own?…. will he want to go with me? these are all things that i will, of course, try to promote .. but if he doesn’t like it … so be it. i certainly won’t force my passions on him… but it would be great if he did catch the fishing bug .. cuz then after he has had his fill with pumpking seed, pearch and bass… i would get him the fly rod and put him over some stocked trout… then those would really drive him nuts … and if he got good at that … i would put him over some wild trout… than that would really drive him nut…. then saltwater species ….. i would really love for hime to at least enjoy fly fishing… and it would really be something else to see him tie his own flies, catch fish and join me on fly fishing adventures…. after all …. what more in life is there? in my opinion … nothing. cars, boats, money, things … all of it is fickle – fading and comes and goes. TIME is really the most valuable asset we have. And quality time spent with my son fly fishing is all I would really ever ask for….. and if he did not like fly fishing… well than, quality time would do… — thanks aviddavid — that was a great post — if you ever come to maine again with your son — give me a call or email.. i would be happy to show you some “secret” spots of mine…
AvidDavid,
Great post. All of us fathers can relate. I raised 2 girls, and one boy. None have taken up flyfishing. The girls fished for sunfish and chub from about age 4 to 8 then lost interest. My son chases mackeral and stripers but with spinning gear. I fished with my dad, he passed 6 years ago. I miss him more this time of year then any holiday season. It is a great bond, this fishing thing. I hope Jeremy and Finn connect. Best of luck to you and yours, enjoy the time and experiences together.
Great story as I can relate since I have a 4 yr old. We went out several times last spring and summer. He likes to look at the fish, but not to reel them in or touch them. After seeing me fly cast he can’t leave the bobber out in the water, which makes it hard for him to be successful. I hope to get him out this weekend for 40 minutes or so which is what he could handle last year. The key seems to be to keep it successful and short. Over time I will make the outings longer as he is able to handle it. We will see how it goes. It would be great if it is something that he had an interest in and something that we could share the rest of our lives. Only time will tell.
I agree.. you can’t make him (or her) like fly fishing. But I think that it is possible to make fishing or fly fishing more likeable. And that may encourage him (or her) to like it more.
My son read your response and was quite excited at the prospect of getting together in Maine. I’ll be in touch.
Yeah, the bond can be really great. I hope my son and I can connect some more. His schedule is getting unbelievable with school and afterschool sports. My schedule isn’t so great either. But, hopefully this summer….
Sounds like a start! I’m certainly not an expert. I really think I am lucky that he is interested. But, I remember how frustrated I was when my son, for a couple of years, just wanted to hold the line in his hand and dangle a wormed hook over the side of the dock and watch the fish nibble away at the worm. I guess that I undervalued this exercise, but I shouldn’t have, because:
1) he was having fun fishing, and
2) he was probably learning something about fish feeding behavior.
Good luck. Four is really a great age!
Dad,
i think i am now getting more patient on my back casts and finally shooting the line. This all happened on our recent trip to block island because i could finally back cast and not just roll cast all the time. thanks to all the guys from flies and fins who were on he trip for the fun and learining i had the pleasure to experience. Those 6-7 hours of fishing at the channel on sunday were probably the most fun i have had fishing without one bite (especially because i got to see some albies bust).
thanks again dad for all the years of fun (and you paying for all the trips and gear)
-Pat
Thanks, bud, it’s been fun for me too.
Jeremy we are in the same bought except my fishing partner is almost 12 and a wonderful young daughter named bella. Personally I think I took Bella fishing when she was younger so I could get out fishing on my days off without the guilt of being an absent dad. When you start them that young and keep them at it with some sucesses it becomes part of them just as its part of you. Bella just got back from a week at the Fly Shops kids flyfishing camp, witch she won by here own initative of writing an essay for a scholarship. She now says she will be guiding by 16. I hope she sticks with it as I love to watch her land a fish. I wouldn’t trade that time with her for anything. keep up the great parenting and fish on.
zane
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